Do you receive workplace empathy? - July 2023 Babies | Forums

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July 2023 Babies

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curiousm0mma

I’m in the Army and I found that no one at my job really took my fatigue or other pregnancy symptoms into account. I worked full 8-hour work days, plus a 1-hour drive each way, up until I had my baby. They even wanted me to drive into Boston the week before my due date during tunnel construction, meaning 2+ hours one way just to get from my house to our training location.

I keep seeing videos about how important it is to rest and how many amazing beautiful things our body goes through during pregnancy. It makes me sad to look back and see how I was always expected to work exactly the same amount and give the same amount of effort as everyone around me. I got no slack.

I’m really not posting this to complain, I’m actually just curious what you guys do for work and how your employer and coworkers responded to your pregnancy symptoms, etc.?

Thanks!!

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mamamaryz

No slack either, expected to be as productive as any other time or use my PTO to rest lol

Also would say the same now pp despite never sleeping more than 3 hours straight in the past 8 months and needing to pump 3x/day at work. It’d be nice to get some slack but also kind of understand that they’re paying me the same to do the same job so objectively… I get it but… still can be irritating lol

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AlyRoseC

It really depends on the ask.

I worked remotely but had to get a doctors note to do so, to force my employer to do a “reasonable accommodation” which is a law in my state.

I was laid off before my maternity leave but HR direction was to take maternity leave early if I had any setbacks within my due month.

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BPMGJ

I did but I also worked with only women and my supervisor was also pregnant. My boss was also amazing. I was also still early in my pregnant like up until 25 weeks when I was then but on strict bed rest. My boss was amazing about rearranging schedule if I needed for a doctor appt or if I had a patient that was more difficult or unsafe. I cant speak for PP though as we moved out of state. My manager that was pregnant told me there hasn’t been as much empathy or support once returning after birth which is unfortunate.

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mbcs25

I am a teacher and I will say that being in a woman-dominated field with the majority of my coworkers being moms, I felt really supported (I mean… as supported as I could be with all the standard high expectations put on teachers). I was constantly being told by my coworkers to get off my feet, to let them help with things etc. They would yell at me if they felt like I was doing too much haha. I had one coworker take over my shift at field day so I wouldn’t have to be outside in the heat. No one would let me carry or hang anything (even though I was perfectly capable ��). But I think that could just be the type of people I work with… willing to help out in whatever way they can, especially since many of them have personal experience.

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faithtrustbabydust92

@mbcs25,

I had the same experience as a teacher ❤️

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pitbullmama034

I was in the Army a million years ago, so yeah, I can totally imagine what you're going through.

I work in a male dominated industry as an estimator in a body shop, and I can say there was little to no empathy for me while I was pregnant or now. This might just be because the younger guys these days are so self absorbed and juat don't care about other people. like when I was 8 months pregnant, waddling around the shop, one of my techs would take parts off of cars pile them underneath a rack and then stand there on his phone while I tried to bend down and pull the parts out (some of which were huge and heavy like steel truck bumpers). Eventually, I snapped and was like you're gonna have to help me! Although I will say a lot of the guys who had children did feed me a lot of snacks while I was pregnant, so there was that lol

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curiousm0mma

@pitbullmama034,

yep checks out. I’m sorry that’s your experience. I work with all men also and they do not make it easy. My team has a physician assigned to us and a couple of the guys were complaining about me not participating in training and using pregnancy as an excuse and he actually said to them, “how would you feel if that was your wife?” And apparently that put it into perspective. One of the guys who complained about me to our PA was who told me that. He said it was humbling because he wouldn’t even want his wife to be working lmao. Double standards

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lrn2020

I work in HR and got no empathy. Had to be in the office 5 days a week until I gave birth. Or could have used PTO, but I was saving it for after baby was born.

Now my baby is 9 months old and was sick with daycare viruses for the entire month of Feb. I had to stay home with her, since I have no other alternatives. My employer does not care at all. We’re all just numbers.

You’re expected to work like you don’t have kids, and to parent like you don’t have to work.

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ashleyRT

I'm an elementary teacher and was given no slack whatsoever. I was on my feet 7 hours a day in a classroom with no air conditioning until my doctor wrote me out at 36 weeks when my classroom was consistently 80°+. It was a godsend. I work with high energy kids grades 3-5 who have no boundaries and was elbowed in the stomach once during my pregnancy... I had to leave to get checked out but luckily baby was okay. I also work with special education students who are physically aggressive and was not given any extra assistance to support me when they have outbursts. I was expected to do all my normal job duties, attend meetings before and after school, walk to all the busses in 80 degree weather at 36 weeks pregnant to take bus attendance, hang bulletin boards, get up and down from the floor with students, and my most favorite....pack up my entire classroom for a renovation that was happening over the summer. I'm an art teacher so I have a significant amount of supplies and it took me 3 months of packing during school and after work to get it all packed with no help from anyone. Can you tell I'm salty about it lol?! To top it off my school district doesn't offer any paid maternity leave, just up to 2 years off unpaid. You bet I'm taking all the time away I can get to spend it my boy. I never want to go back. This isn't meant to belittle your experience, I just want to share the utter bullsh*t and lack of compassion so many of us have to go through as pregnant working women.

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Mamabear0730

Hi! Just wanted to offer you a different perspective coming from a woman in a supervisory role. It’s actually illegal for an employer to treat someone differently or “go easier on them” due to pregnancy. There have been discrimination law suits over it ��. I happen to work in a job with alot of other women and most of us have young kids so we are all very sympathetic to the physical struggles of pregnancy. But like for example, we currently have a woman here about 7 months pregnant, and I told her when she first announced her pregnancy that she has to tell us when/if she needs special accommodations because we are not allowed to assume or treat her any differently ��‍♀️.

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babyKS03

With my first job, I worked as an emergency nurse with odd shift hours (1pm-1am) and would get held over sometimes for a 14 or 16 hour shift. I worked up until the day I had a baby and went home once during my entire pregnancy due to horrible nausea and vomiting. ( I was so sick with my first I lost a total of 30 lbs in my first two trimesters). Lol!

Then with my second, I still worked up until I had her but I now work in an outpatient clinic making it much easier. They never quested if I left early for appts or anything

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jbw070

I’m a pharmacy tech and I’d say kinda, towards the end my manager would offer me a chair and wouldn’t let me climb up to grab things from our high shelves. But he also made me travel 1.5hr to train another location on vaccinating when I was 8 or 9m. I never ever complained bc I’m just not like that but I was constantly in pain and worked up until the day I gave birth �� pretty sure I was also in labor during my last shift but I was in denial lol, I prob should’ve spoken up tho bc he did pull me to the side once and said to let him know about any accommodations I’d need

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Do you receive workplace empathy? - July 2023 Babies | Forums | What to Expect (2024)

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